I didn't sleep last night. I don't know why, I just didn't.

I am extremely sad today. I miss my Uncle Jimmy more than anything. I regret alot of things, but number one on that list would be passing on the opportunity to see him last year. The feeling absolutely sucks. It's horrible. And I have two grandparents who are in their early 80s now. When they are gone from the world, I will have nobody to look up to. And not to mention, I will not be able to function for who knows how long.

Times like this make me realize that it is a bonus to have a girlfriend, that ONE person I could turn to for emotional support when things go from bad to worse. That person who will walk with me through the shit as long as it takes to get me out. I've always dealt with emotional things myself. Maybe that's what's made me into the blunt asshole that I am. Having no support, no source of comfort, is very very difficult. Especially when the only thing I can do is sit here and type on a computer screen hoping it will help somehow, knowing it won't.

Such is life.

I need a text buddy for the day. Please choose to volunteer.

Just got back home from a good time at Buffalo Wild Wings! I met @GreekPhysique aka John tonight. I never imagined someone would have more basketball knowledge than I did! I haven't really watched many games this season because of the job I just left (I will be spending more time watching now though). He's such a nice guy though. If you haven't subscribed/friended him on Xanga, please do. He's funny and very intelligent, and likes food and beer. In a guy friend, that's what I like to see! I've included pictures, for your viewing pleasure. We met up at a local Buffalo Wild Wings, on a particularly slow night. Apparently there was some WWE event going on that took precedence over the All Star Game. Pah. Wrestling. P.s. The Rock won the main event. Go figure

Here's my half finished glass of Sam Adams Boston Lager (highly recommended by the way). Before this I had a tall glass of Blue Moon with an orange. I'll always love that beer too. The Boston Lager was only a short.

 

And here's John sporting his "I'm drinking bro!" face. I can't remember for the life of me what it is he was sipping on, but it had cherries in it. Lol. Note the destroyed appetizer plate in the bottom portion of the picture. That used to be a buffalo chicken flatbread app. Gone in maybe 5 minutes? Ha. On my dinner plate was a buffalo chicken ranch sandwich, with fries. Yum. Seems to be a common theme... 

I had fun though. I'll be doing this again for sure. Hopefully next time we'll actually get to hear what we're watching!

Last Saturday, I woke up in the weirdest mood. But it was one of those moods where you just wake up and your mind is dead set on one thing and one thing only. And it felt like everything would be right and make sense if you just set out to do what is on your mind. One of those. You just wake up, and BOOM. Epiphany. It was that kind of feeling. So it was about 8:20 am. I woke up, had breakfast, the usual routine. Browsed Facebook for a while, checked my email. Fell back asleep until about 11. I showered, went to Wegmans for some much needed groceries. I started an online defensive driving course to keep my car insurance bill down. It's been a good day so far.

 

I then proceeded to call my work at 2pm and declare my resignation from the company. No two weeks notice for you, fuckers. 

 

After that, I had an interview with a company that will hire me full time at $15.35 an hour, for sitting at a desk all day taking phone calls for a communications company. According to the department manager I talked to, that's about $32k a year. Not including the incentive I'd get for working overtime. I honestly don't know why I stuck around in my job for so long, knowing that it was going nowhere, and that I would never get the raise or the better hours that I asked for about 5 times by my count. I know now that was the number one stress factor in my life. Work was no longer fun. It was just...annoying. When you're not given the opportunity to move forward, it's time to go. 

 

When I was asked if that pay rate was okay with me, I could barely get a syllable out. "Did he really just ask me that?" I stuttered out an audible "Um, y-yeah!" I've never felt better about LEAVING a job before. It's like all the weight on my shoulders has been lifted, and I've felt alot better since. Not to mention, I got both my state and federal tax returns back a few days ago too. This guy is 1700 bucks richer. I can hold out just on tax return money without a job for 3 months. But obviously, I won't. I'll be getting the call for new hire training any day now. I couldn't be more excited!

 

As for my girl situation, there is no girl situation. I'm fine with that. I do better on my own obviously. Having someone else to worry about is just too much hassle now. I used to think different, but the truth is I don't want or need a girlfriend. I have a big year ahead of me, with a new job on the horizon and Best Man responsibilities that I must take care of. Not to mention, deciding if I want to stay at this apartment or go. It's a nice area so I might stay, but it depends on my roommate, who I hope leaves, so that would make my decision 100 times easier. Plus, someone's always looking for a roommate.

 

Tonight, my plans are to meet up with @GreekPhysique at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the NBA All-Star Game. Should be fun. Pics will be posted!

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

My best buddy? Yeah absolutely...

2. You talked to an ex today, right?

Wrong.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Yes

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Not really, but then again I haven't really had to trust anyone with my heart in over 2 years so...

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

Ha, I don't even really like anyone anymore. So no.

6. What are you excited for?

Not much. Summer.

7. What happened tonight?

Nothing. I played video games and bought cereal from Wegmans. That's about it.

8. Do you think it's disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Yeah sorta. You just look like a damn slob. And nobody, especially me, wants to deal with you.

9. Is confidence cute?

Yeah sure.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Gatorade.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Like maybe 2.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Erm, no.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Hopefully sleep.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Food.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Nope. I don't even talk to that deceiving cunt anymore.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

No.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My guy friends.

18. The last time you felt broken?

Like a month ago or so.

19. Have you had sex today?

No. I haven't had sex in about a year. I don't miss it. 

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

That maybe I shouldn't be living with a girl I had a giant crush on. Yeah sure.

21. Are you in a good mood?

Eh.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

So they can bite my arm off? No thanks.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

No. Mine are green. Only one with green eyes in my family.

24. What do you want right this second?

A damn beer. Excuse me while I go grab one. 

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Considering they probably are, "frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn."

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

All day

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Never.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

A video game. Yeah, sad.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Always.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Some people don't deserve a first chance.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy/girl you were talking to?

No.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

Most likely not.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

Basically.

34. Listening to?

Nothing.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Nope. Pen.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Again, don't really care. So no.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not at all. If you do, you're foolish.

38. Who did you last call?

My buddy Mike.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

Ugh...Liz.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I wanted to.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Like a week ago. 

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

No. I did yesterday.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yep.

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don't tan.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No. Although I don't think it would matter.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

No.

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Mike.

48. Do you sing in the shower?

No.

49. Do you dance in the car?

I head bop.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Not a real one no.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Senior high school pictures.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

No.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Not really.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

<3

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Golfer. Lol.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yep.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Mhm.

59. Take a vitamin daily?

Used to, don't know why I stopped.

60. Wear slippers?

I don't own a pair of slippers.

61. Wear a bath robe?

No.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Pajamas.

63. First concert?

If we're not counting high school band concerts, then it would be my Uncle Chet Catallo's concert.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Wegmans.

65. Nike or Adidas?

Nike.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Neither.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

I don't know.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Haha no.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Not at this time. I'm not even sure I want a "spouse"

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

4th grade champ.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Maybe?

74. What is your favorite book?

White Fang.

75. Do you study better with or without music?

I don't study. Perks of being done with school.

76. Regularly burn incense?

No.

77. Ever been in love?

As much as it pains me to say it...no, I have not..

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Nobody. I prefer to keep my ears in working condition.

79. What was the last concert you saw?

Uncle Chet.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Neither, I don't drink tea.

81. Tea or coffee?

Neither.

82. Favorite type of cookie?

The type I can eat.

83. Can you swim well?

Sure can.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yeah. Easy.

85. Are you patient?

With some things.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

Band. Bands are cooler. And plus, being an instrumentalist, I can play in said band if I wanted.

87. Ever won a contest?

Yeah.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

ALL OVER MY BODY.

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Yuck.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Fuck who you want when you want. Your choice.

91. Best room for a fireplace?

The coldest room.

92. Do you want to get married?

I'm not sure honestly. Leaning towards no.

 

• 1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
      Yep.
• 2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
      No.
• 3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?
      Just short of 1 year.
• 4: Have you ever changed for someone?
      No, and I never will. Take me for who I am or don't take me at all.
• 5: How is your relationship with your ex?
      We don't speak.
• 6: Have you ever been cheated on? Yes
• 7: Have you ever cheated? No.

• 8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?
      Not worth the risk. 
• 9: What's the most important part of a relationship?
      There is no single most important part. 
• 10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
        Serious relationships.
• 11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?
        Only when a situation rises that would call for a break.
• 12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
        A few too many.
• 13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
        Initiating every conversation.
• 14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
        Whenever they want.
• 15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?
        Past a certain point.
• 16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?
        No. 
• 17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?
        No.
• 18: What do you consider a deal breaker?
        Many things. Cheating, lying, stealing, manipulation, smoking, binge drinking.
• 19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
        When you realize you're not happy.
• 20: Are you currently in a relationship?
        No. 
• 21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
        Nope. I'm living proof of that, I am. 
• 22: Do you think people should date their friends?
        Date whoever you want.
• 23: How many relationships have you had?
        Relationshits? 4.
• 24: Do you think love can last forever?
        Can, but most likely won't.
• 25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?
        No. Love can't conquer death. 
• 26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?
        No, fuck that.  
• 27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
        Don't date the first girl who sucks your dick. She's going to be a crazy psychopath, and will lie to you and try taking half of your friends with her after you break up. Also, don't even talk to a girl if the first thing she mentions is "I've dated black guys"
• 28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?
        Not a chance. 
• 29: What do you notice first about another person?
        Do they look happy? 
• 30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
        Straight.
• 31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
        Nope, but I don't have a partner.
• 32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
        Yes...inquire if you must.
• 33: Do you want to get married one day?
        Leaning towards no. 
• 34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?
        HAHAHAHAHA. No.
• 35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?
        Nope. Sorry. 
• 36: Are you still a virgin?
        No. Thank goodness.
• 37: What's more important: Looks or personality?
        Personality. But is it too much to ask for both?
• 38: Do you enjoy love films?
        I get bored.
• 39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
        Yeah. Given. Never received. 
• 40: Have you ever had a valentine?
        Uh...no, actually...whoever wants to step up and be my valentine this year, you've got 3 days to decide. 
• 41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?
        "The thing about perfection is, it's unknowable. It's impossible, yet it's right in front of us, all the time."  
• 42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?
        Yeah. High school days.
• 43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?
        I don't have a partner, so my friends.
• 44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?
        Not at this time.
• 45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?
        Imagine, yes.
• 46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?
        What guy hasn't. 
• 47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?
        I don't care.
• 48: What's your favorite love song?
        Again, don't care.
• 49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?
        Yep.
• 50: If you're single, why do you think you are?
        Because I choose to be, and because you women are FUCKING insane.
• 51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?
        I'm not into guys.
• 52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
        I can be.
• 53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?
        No.
• 54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?
        Facebook isn't official. Do it in person, idiot.
• 55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?
        Nope.
• 56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?
        Not to my knowledge. 
• 57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
        No. I think you're an idiot if you let your emotions control you like that, and you have deep seated issues you need to sort out. 
• 58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?
        Dominant.
• 59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?
        No.
• 60: What's your opinion on open relationships?
        Not for me.
• 61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?
        Again, no partner, so family.
• 62: How do you define "cheating"?
        Anything that involves being in relations with someone other than the person you're dating. 
• 63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
        No. 
• 64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?
        Yep. It's a day everyone uses as an excuse to do something "special" when in fact, you're doing something less special because it's Valentine's Day, and you had to use the day as an excuse instead of surprising your significant other on any other day.
• 65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?
         Yes.