I just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

 

I'm exhausted. Oy...i've been meaning to update, but I just haven't felt motivated enough. I figured since I'm up and I still have an ounce of energy, I'd let you all know I'm still alive. I've had 3 interviews in the past month (the third being today), and so far nothing has stuck...but I might be working for Goodyear soonish. If not, I just have to keep trying...or I'm gonna go broke. It just seems like it's the wrong time of year to be jobless. Nobody is really hiring. Eh oh well. I finally washed the car today. First wash of the season! She looks good, but no pics yet...the look hasn't been completed. I'm DYING to put my summer rims on. It just needs to warm up a bit before I feel comfortable doing so. I also had all the windows tinted. Not that annoying shit you can't even see through, just a good 35% tint shade so the car stays warmer when it's cold and cooler when it's warm. It looks incredible though...once the rims are on I'll post some pictures here. I have to scrape pretty much all of the stickers off the car that I put on there. They're starting to peel. We had quite a bit of ice this winter so that was bound to happen anyways. But it's cool. Just gives me a chance to show off the tint more! 

 

Other than the car and the job thing, I guess things are good. I've been training MMA with my buddies helping them gear up for a tournament, so that's keeping me active. I've also started doing 100 pushups and 100 situps EVERY day. So that keeps my body in check for the most part. That sounds vain, but I'm not going to let myself go after having stayed in shape for 6 years now. I used to be fat. Not going back to that again. 

 

I have something else I want to say, but I'm just too tired to type it all out. Next time.

Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?
I don't have a closet in my room haha.

Do you take the bottles of shampoos and conditioner from a hotel? 
Yes. I'm a bad man.

Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room?
Yeah...what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...and in Hawaii too...

Where is your next vacation?
I can't even remember where we're going this year, but it's at the end of April. I think Florida.

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Haha no...but I have stolen a letter off of a movie sign board thingy.

Who do you think reads these?
Dogs and cats.

Do you have a calendar in your room?
Nope.

Where are you?
My room.

What’s your plan for the day?
I slept in. I might be getting a massage later. But probably gonna just play video games all night.

Are you reading any books right now?
Nope.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No lol

Have you ever peed in the woods?
Who hasn't?

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?
No.

Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Ew.

What is your “Song of the Week”?
Gotta catch 'em all POKEMON!

Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Totally. No homo.

Do you still watch cartoons?
Only Dragon Ball Z. 

Whats your favorite love movie?
I don't watch love movies.

What do you drink with dinner?
Beer, juice, water. Idk, depends. 

What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in?
I dip chicken WINGS in just about anything. Buffalo, ranch, bleu cheese, country sweet sauce...yeahh

What is your favorite food/cuisine?
Italiannn

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Ip Man, LOTR, Tron: Legacy

Last person you hugged/kissed?
Hugged? My dad. Kissed? ...Liz

Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Nope.

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
No.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Long time ago.

Can you change the oil on a car?
Yes.

Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Ohhh yes haha.

Run out of gas?
No.

Favorite kind of sandwich?
The kind I can eat.

Best thing to eat for breakfast?
FOOD.

What is your usual bedtime?
Whenever I feel like it.

Are you lazy?
Defffinitely.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
Bunch of different things I'm sure.

Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Game Informer, Bavarian Autosport.

Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?
LEGOS

Are you stubborn?
YEP!

Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
Colbert.

Ever watch soap operas?
Fuck that.

Afraid of heights?
Used to be.

Sing in the car?
Yep.

Dance in the shower?
Who the hell does that.

Dance in the car?
Nah.

Ever used a gun?
A paintball gun yes.

Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Only some of them.

Is Christmas stressful?
Ehhh...not really.

Ever eat a pierogi?
YUM.

Major annoyance right now?
My messy fuckin roommate who leaves shit everywhere.

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Golfer. Lol.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Yeah. They exist people.

Ever have a deja-vu feeling?
Yep.

Do you take a vitamin daily?
No.

Wear slippers?
Never.

Wear a bath robe?
Never.

What do you wear to bed?
Never a shirt. Usually boxers or shorts.

Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
Doesn't matter. 

Nike or Adidas?
Nike.

Cheetos Or Fritos?
Both.

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower seeds.

Ever hear of, “gorp”?
Nope.

Ever taken karate?
I have. 

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
No.

Can you curl your tongue?
Yes.

Ever won a spelling bee?
Yes, actually.

Ever cried because you were so happy?
I've cried from laughing before haha.

Own any record albums?
No.

Own a record player?
No.

Regularly burn incense?
No.

Ever been in love?
...no.

Hot tea or cold tea:
None.

Tea or coffee?
None.

Favorite kind of cookie?
Double chocolate chip.

Can you swim well?
Better than you.

Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
Yes.

Are you patient?
Only sometimes.

Ever won a contest?
Yeah.

Ever had plastic surgery?
No.

Which are better black or green olives?
I hate olives.

Can you knit or crochet?
No.

Wash room or bathroom?
Bathroom.

Do you want to get married?
Probably not.

Who was your High School crush?
A girl I eventually wound up dating for a year who was in my band. She was also a psycho.

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
YES ALL THE TIME.

Do you have kids?
No, probably never.

Do you want kids?
^^

What kind of mom are you?
I'm a guy.

Do you miss anyone right now?
Nope.

Who do you want to see right now?
Eh, nobody.

Today started off normally. I slept in. Bought some groceries for the week. Mainly cereal and milk. Got home and played a few games of Halo. Helped out my dad with his business and got paid for it. Went to a St. Patty's day party at my friend's house. Was having a great time drinking and being the king of beer pong, until I got a text from my mom. My grandpa is in the hospital. He cut his hip open on the edge of a table and wouldn't stop bleeding. Which means he needed surgery. I don't know how he's doing since my family hasn't gotten back to me or anything. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. My grandpa is my hero, my everything. He's the ONLY person in this world I genuinely look up to and want to model myself after...if anything ever happened to him...I don't know what I'd do. Right now I can't even think about all the good times I had tonight. I can only think of one thing and one thing only and it's tearing me apart. It isn't even something that major either. I had plans in the morning, but I'm going to be so distracted, I don't know if I can do it.

 

I'm just a wreck. This is the worst feeling i've ever felt since he had a heart attack. And I was young when that happened and couldn't completely comprehend the severity of that event. Guys...help

Just watch. No questions.

 

 

It does suck that I couldn't get the job I wanted, but I need to not think about it and move on and try other places. Today I'm going to talk with a Goodyear store manager and see what they're all about. In other news I am coming to the realization that I don't know how to date anymore. You see, I've been single for nearly 3 years. That's a long freaking time. Too long, I think. I've forgotten the basics. I'm no longer sure how to properly start a conversation with someone I don't know. Years ago I wouldn't have that problem. But now it seems, I'm too careful and too cautious. I won't change this particular trait but I definitely need to work on my communication skills if I'm to find someone. With spring coming around the corner, people will be going out more and the nightlife will pick up. And therein lies the opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. I'm sure this year will bring new friends (and enemies) and I'm hoping it also brings me a girl who isn't a complete psycho. 

 

I was having a text conversation with the lovely Jessica (@jess_i_cuh), and I basically said that I have never loved a girl I've dated. I don't know what it feels like because I've never been with someone who is mature and not crazy. I've never been with someone who could let me in and show me who they really are. I've always had the mindset that my friends come first, too. Some women do not understand why. Until I meet someone that can prove their worth, that they deserve my time, and my devotion, I will always put my friends first. I swore off dating until I found myself. I feel like now, in my jobless, apartment living state, I feel that I have. I'm not really strapped for money though. Which is shocking. The last thing I needed to be at ease was to quit my job. It was the source of so many stress factors in my life. I was constantly down, constantly sad. The only thing keeping me there was the money, and once that started to decrease, I knew I had to go. These things do happen, yes, but if you only knew how persistent I was for a promotion and a raise. Two things that never came. There's only so much I can do before I need to make the decision that's in my own best interests. Even if it means ending my source of income. That's my take anyways.

 

Here's hoping I find a good job soon, and maybe a good woman. Although around Rochester, New York, it's rather doubtful I'll have the latter.

I didn't get the job...I'm upset. Now what am I gonna do...