March 10, 2013
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TGIF
It does suck that I couldn't get the job I wanted, but I need to not think about it and move on and try other places. Today I'm going to talk with a Goodyear store manager and see what they're all about. In other news I am coming to the realization that I don't know how to date anymore. You see, I've been single for nearly 3 years. That's a long freaking time. Too long, I think. I've forgotten the basics. I'm no longer sure how to properly start a conversation with someone I don't know. Years ago I wouldn't have that problem. But now it seems, I'm too careful and too cautious. I won't change this particular trait but I definitely need to work on my communication skills if I'm to find someone. With spring coming around the corner, people will be going out more and the nightlife will pick up. And therein lies the opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. I'm sure this year will bring new friends (and enemies) and I'm hoping it also brings me a girl who isn't a complete psycho.
I was having a text conversation with the lovely Jessica (@jess_i_cuh), and I basically said that I have never loved a girl I've dated. I don't know what it feels like because I've never been with someone who is mature and not crazy. I've never been with someone who could let me in and show me who they really are. I've always had the mindset that my friends come first, too. Some women do not understand why. Until I meet someone that can prove their worth, that they deserve my time, and my devotion, I will always put my friends first. I swore off dating until I found myself. I feel like now, in my jobless, apartment living state, I feel that I have. I'm not really strapped for money though. Which is shocking. The last thing I needed to be at ease was to quit my job. It was the source of so many stress factors in my life. I was constantly down, constantly sad. The only thing keeping me there was the money, and once that started to decrease, I knew I had to go. These things do happen, yes, but if you only knew how persistent I was for a promotion and a raise. Two things that never came. There's only so much I can do before I need to make the decision that's in my own best interests. Even if it means ending my source of income. That's my take anyways.
Here's hoping I find a good job soon, and maybe a good woman. Although around Rochester, New York, it's rather doubtful I'll have the latter.
Comments (2)
I think it was a good decision for you to do something for yourself. I'm sure it will work out.
You may not have meant it this way, but you said you haven't loved a girl because of the way they act (are crazy, ect.). But it's got nothing to do with how others are, more to do with how you are. Not that you're messed up, I'm just saying that it may say more about how you trust people and let them in, not how perfect they are to get there. Maybe that didn't make sense... but what I'm trying to say is you haven't loved others because of your own inhibitions, not because everyone you've been around is batshit cray.
@jess_i_cuh - HAHA. I loved every word of that comment. You're quite right. I do have issues trusting and letting people in. But I mean, I can't be expected to just be completely open and willing after I've been cheated on, abused, dumped for someone else, etc. It takes time to gain my trust. On the other hand I am not going to completely shut someone out because of my past. I'm better than that. I'll get to know someone a little bit at a time. When I am shown respect and understanding, I give it right back. That treatment will make me more willing and more invested as time goes by. I can't forget the past, but I can look forward to what awaits me in the future.
And hopefully what's waiting is not a batshit crazy girl.
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