I think that title accurately sums up what I've been feeling. It's just all sorts of things.
First off I want to let you all know that yes I have been absent from blogging both on here and on WordPress for quite some time now...for various reasons of course. But I do apologize. I really missed blogging, it's just when I wanted to...I guess I didn't have it in me. Now I have some time to write so I'm going to get it done. There may be some venting here. You've been warned.
Some of you (very few of you actually) who read my last blog on the old Xanga know I've been rehired at my last job, just at a different store. Recently the company has gone through a major staff overhaul. The manager that hired me back was moved, and a new one took his place....which just happened to be the dumb idiot that was part of the reason I quit last time. I can't STAND him. But now I have to deal with it at least for 2 more weeks before I can request a transfer. Last weekend marked the end of the line for 2 of the guys in the shop. They also got moved to different locations. We've since brought in a lazy asshole "service manager" who basically stood around all day today with his hands in his pockets drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes while our only other service guy did all the work. Yeah. Ridiculous. I mean seriously, the guy couldn't even be bothered to do a simple oil change. Oh it's NOT your job? Well let me just tell that to my manager and we'll see how far that gets you bud. I may not have a say in service work but I know what's wrong and what's right. If this guy can't come to work to actually DO work, then he needs to go. Saturday I got into it with the shop manager (another arrogant prick) over something so small I couldn't believe he made a big deal about it. I was working on a car doing my own thing when he decides he wants me to do things his way instead of my way. He came at me pretty aggressively so as anyone should, I defended myself and told him to back off and not tell me how to do my job. I don't come to work to get berated for the work that I do. I take pride in my work. So being the mature adult he is, he told the manager what I said like a whiny little 2 year old crying to his mom. So then the manager basically yelled at me too while the arrogant prick gets to stand there and laugh at me. In his words I lack motivation and I'm a cancer to the shop. I told him I disagree and it offends me he feels that way. He avoided apologizing. Oh but don't worry I will be talking to the regional manager about this crap. Ok vent time done.
I've been sick recently. I picked up something last weekend I think when I went to visit my buddy at his college dorm. We drank all weekend and had a blast. We met some girls and had them over for the night (one for both of us) so that was fun. It was nice to sleep with someone, even if it didn't mean anything. I needed to get my mind off of things. That Sunday I slept with the sister of the girl I slept with at the dorm. I didn't find this out until Monday. They're a year apart. Really strange but hey...I nailed sisters. Score one for me. But since I got home from that I've been crazy sick. The weather has been fluctuating like mad so I got a pretty nasty cold. I've been drugged up on nyquil and dayquil for about a week straight haha. Today's the first day I haven't had anything although I'm still gonna take nyquil before bed because I'm still getting stuffed up and coughing. Through all that I've been good...I had my bank account hacked (not sure if I had posted on this before or not). But yeah over a month ago it was hacked into and I had about 250 bucks stolen out of it. I went without a card for 3 freaking weeks. 3 DAMN WEEKS. That's way too fucking long. ESL fucked up so bad. I was pissed. I had to go to their headquarters building here to get my new card and new PIN. I bitched at them because they deserved it. I felt better afterwards so I went home and put new pads and rotors on my car. It felt SO GOOD to wrench again, even if it was something as simple as brakes. My old brakes were so fried. I'm surprised they held up so long without going metal to metal. But anyways then I changed my oil and ran some Techron through the gas tank as well as replaced my wipers. This thursday I'm getting 4 new tires on the car since I won't last through the winter with my current set. Car maintenance isn't cheap. It's all for the better though. After the tires all I'll have left is to adjust my clutch pedal play and have the accident damage taken care of. Still haven't done that and I really need to.
I have recently started talking to an old flame. My last flame actually. Lindsey. I remember being so upset when she stopped talking to me 2 years ago. I saw her follow me on Twitter a couple of days ago and I sent her a little message there and she responded right away. I finally got an answer after all this time. She went away to Michigan for school but while she was there someone stole her phone. After that she couldn't talk to anyone and she lost all her contacts. She never was one for social media so she didn't use Facebook. I didn't have a Twitter at the time so there was no way to talk to her. She apologized and said she felt so bad that she disappeared on me. She didn't want it to happen and if she had a way to talk to me she would have as soon as she could. So we've kinda picked up right where we left off 2 years ago. I'm nervous though, because things can change in 2 years. I know I am a changed person. I'm much more cautious and definitely much more independent. Our conversations are very light and happy though so I'm liking where it's going. We're working on getting together soon sometime. She is doing an internship now 5 days a week so there's not alot of time to get together, which I actually think will benefit. I'd get sick of her if I saw her 3 times a week anyways. I'll have to post more on her later though.
My last bit is on the recent passing of Jamie. You guys obviously know about this by now. She, along with Jess, was one of my closest female friends in the Xanga community. I treasured her friendship almost as if she were my own family. The same with Jess and I don't know what I'd do with myself if I lost her. It's still hard to put words together to describe the way I feel. I'm coping I suppose. Not very well still. But I'm coping. She was just so close to my heart...to everyones hearts really. I'm really really going to miss her...but at the same time I have a life to live and I need to do that. For me, for her...it's what she'd want. We can't dwell on it. We have to move forward.
I think now though, I'm going to go to bed. I'm feeling better after all this writing. Till next time Xanga.
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